A few days of rest and relaxation....well, the rooms were large anyway. My wife and I have no words to describe the garbage served for meals at usery prices. But let's start at check in because management should be thrown in the pools then ushered out without towels! Arriving exhausted, a little girl Bruna stood behind the beautiful front desk with the impressive water fall behind her. ”This is going to be impressive, I thought.” Oi...which means hi in Portuguese. Oi, I replied. ”Your name?” Were the next two syllables that came out. (No welcome, great to see you. is this your first visit with us? Just what's your name. But what came next beats any check in I've ever seen or read about. Bruna begins staring at the computer screen while at the same time smelling her wet hair through her nose. I wasn't sure what to say or do. It seemed like a personal moment so I just waited. After what seemed like 10 minutes, she said our room wasn't ready. I told her we actually paid for the night before but were not able to arrive so our room should be ready. She then asked me to see my cell phone reservation. After some time, she called over a colleague who spoke with her for some time then asked if he could take my cell phone to show the manager. ”No,” I said. Be right back, he said. After he came back, saying nothing to me, he spoke to the girl. Shortly after she asked for our documents. No explanation, still no welcome. So that's what being processed feels like. Hungry, we went to the dining room that closes at 3pm. It was 10 past three. I stood at reception for at least 20 minutes, enough time for us to have made lunch. Back to our closed dining room, Sergio was excellent. He escorted us up to the coffee bar (FYI, it opens at noon. Perhaps another name might be in order.) Order anything you want from the menu, he said. We were delighted. Once at the coffee bar a man finally took our order. A few minutes later Sergio was back to take our order. ”We've ordered already, we said.””I know, I need to take your order again, Sergio said.” OK, we thought, whatever. After what seemed like about 30 minutes, our drinks arrived WRONG. The drink order was such a mess we settled for soft drinks. Still waiting for food now some 40 minutes later, it arrived finally. WRONG. They had double ordered our ticket but what arrived first was two orders of my plate. My wife, starving by now, ate what they brought. About 5 minutes later, her order arrived. That's 2 and a half orders of food for those keeping track. Things would have been bad enough if the story ended here but it doesn't. Think of pasta that has the consistency of hard gummy bears and sauce that tastes like warm water with ketchup. Then imagine grease filled French fries and tiny pieces of terrible tasting fish like substance served with tarter sauce. My only possible guess is the people who park cars and the chef decided to switch places for the day. Ah well, there's always breakfast, right? WRONG!
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